Friday 3 May 2013

3 months, still no sleep

So, I think we got up to 12 weeks ish and finally we're on the hoo-ray downhill excitment towards the best routine (only about 4/6 weeks to go!) ... Baby still isn't settling herself properly yet.  So anyone who proudly announces their baby sleeps through now is just lucky that their baby happens to sleep for long periods - babies/humans don't usually just sleep - they sleep a bit, wake a bit and go back to sleep a bit longer.  So just be quietly smug that those people will soon get s rude awakening (literally) when their baby starts to wake in the night and doesn't have a clue what to do (so will cry and scream until they come and help them).

For you, baby is now not swaddled and still using the dummy, if you have chosen to, you are putting baby down upstairs in their cot during the day for their sleeps.  Still in the 3 hour routine, you should try to change baby's nappy before you put them down.  Then maybe a little cuddle and song and put them down.  We use the music on the monitor to help signify it's sleep time, but maybe you do something else?  Put a radio on quietly or some music on an ipod.  If baby is crying and won't settle just go back in and put the dummy back in.  I've been known to do this for up to 30/40 minutes.  It's a killer and exhausting and you wonder whether it's worth it - but it is, I promise, so stick with it.  You'll only actually have one or two bad days of this before baby works out how to get off to sleep.  Sometimes I place my hand on their chest to reassure them I'm here before putting the dummy back in if it feels appropriate.  And occasionally, if it feels right, I'll pick them up and sooth before placing them back in the cot (still awake).  Baby might cry again when I do this but I'll try and leave it a minute or two before going back in to try the dummy again.

Anyway, baby gets to sleep and I get half an hour (or over if I'm lucky) to have a shower, do some washing and get online to write my blog!  If it took so long that baby is only going to get 20 minutes sleep in this cycle, then so be it - might sound harsh, but routine routine routine.  So slowly wake baby up and get the bottle (or boob) on the go again and so it goes on.

There are some ideas out there about feeding in quicker succession nearer the bedtime.  So if you do 1pm and 4pm, then feed again at 6.30pm - don't wait until 7pm (baby will be too exhausted by then anyway).  This worked wonder for my first but my second wasn't bothered.  So with my second we made the 4pm bottle less, so she would be hungrier at 6.30pm otherwise she just wouldn't feed that much then.  This was something I really took on board that the Baby Whisperer talks about - food amounts in the day time.  But it's only at this age that it really became relevant for me.  So if baby is feeding loads in the night but not that much in the day, adjust it all.  You need to break the cycle (which will probably make for a pretty shitty day or two whilst you do it) but choose a night when you're going to do it, and that night don't give a full bottle at whatever time you have to feed (3/4am or whenever).  Limit it so you know baby has eaten and staved off the hunger but not enough to actually fill them up.  Then at 7am they will feed a bit more (they might not have gone back to sleep brilliantly, so you may be feeling totally crap now - go back to bed if you can).  At 10am they will be hungry again etc etc ... so you are essentially teaching them to feed more in the day and less at night - obviously our overall aim. 

This leads to some long nights for you - but remember you have an aim - if you can break the cycle, in another day or two you'll feel so much better when baby goes longer in the night without a bottle (because they're more full from their day feeds).

Good luck!

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